Interceding into fandom time - caveat lector for discussions on race and identity!
A while back ago, good people put up the 2nd Asian Women Blog Carnival, and called for submissions. The AWBC is an awesome thing! Around that time - slightly earlier - I'd put up a few personal thinky-thoughts posts at bromatheon
, one of which was a product of a discussion my brother and I had
. It's a very emotionally confusing post even for me, and I tried to put down as much of what had been said verbatim in my attempts to understand my brother's view. The good charity and will of my friends saw that post (and one other) getting sent to the AWBC - I didn't know about it until after, but I was totally cool with it either way. ♥
Unfortunately I am a silly eggchick - in an attempt to round of the post and get a better night's sleep at the end of it, I stepped way too much in the opposite direction and drew conclusions that have turned out to hurt and offend others. Even after I realised that the post had gone on to a larger forum, I didn't go back to read through it and make proper comment. colorblue (DW)
wrote explaining how that post was an example of intra-racial whitewashing. Our host, the good oyceter
, also made a post afterwards bringing up how the post outlined my POV but, in the process of doing so, blindsided other people's POVs.
I'm very grateful that these posts were made calling my thoughts out - and again I would like to extend my apologies for having made posts so unthinkingly. My intentions may have been in place but the results of my thinking, when logically drawn out, prove to be shortsighted and damaging.
Thanks to these thoughts and many good friends, I've spent some time and a few more words trying to learn from this and grow. ♥ Ergo this sort-of follow up, sort-of new-ground covering post
Once more, my deepest apologies to anyone my earlier post may have offended, and I take full responsibility for it, and my attempts at trying to grow up a better person.
- While bureaucracy is very fun to write fic about, waiting 3 hours for a 2 minute interview at the American Embassy is not. D:
- Discussing the philosophy of mathematics is a bit like a snake trying to eat it's own tail. *insert FMA reference here*
- Retail therapy sort of fixes everything
- On my to-read list:
[x] Haruki Murakami - After Dark
[x] Neil Gaiman - Coraline (WHY YES I AM SLOW ON THE UPTAKE)
 Homer - The Iliad books 12-24
 John Steinbeck - East of Eden
- On my to-procure list:
 Terry Pratchett - Nation
- On my to-complain list:
 Boss being unbearable
 Quitting now moving up on list of priorities
And, for fandom exercising, DIALOGUE MEME
- comment with a character, a situation, a prompt, and I'll write you a one-line bit of dialogue! Feel free to PARRY/BANTER/COUNTER BACK. :D TARGET THE FOLLOWING FANDOMS FOR EXTRA POINTS: Discworld's Moist and Lu Tze books, Lucifer.
 ALSO, everyone should go read today's xkcd
, and then Wiki Erdos number
, and THEN wiki Erdos-Bacon numbers
(as in, Kevin-Bacon-the-actor Bacon), because that article is hilarious for the following paragraph:( The only ways a lower [Erdos-Bacon] number could be achieved would be: )
Also, the new Fullmetal Alchemist:This
is why I put off watching it for so long:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*rocks back and forth* I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HURT ME, I KNEW HUGHES WOULD TAKE MY HEART AND STOMP ALL OVER IT LIKE IT WAS NOTHING; I KNEW THAT WATCHING HIM AND ROY AND GRACIA AND ELYSIA WAS GOING TO HURT; I KNEW THAT ED WAS GOING TO MAKE ME MENTALLY EXPLODE; I KNEW THAT IN SPITE OF LOVING OKAWA TORU FOREVER THAT MIKI SHIN WAS GOING TO TAKE ROY AND DEVELOP A FACET OF HIM THAT MAKES ME WANT HIS ROY AND OKAWA'S ROY TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM VIOLENTLY MAKING OUT AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH
I just wanted to say ♥ and that I love you guys for being the caring, insanely talented and heartfelt people that you are. ♥ It's always blown my mind away how a shy girl who talks too much from this corner of the globe has been able to get to know all you crazy and fantastic people from all over the place - you guys have been a bright damned light, full of lessons of life, politics, writing, love, joy. I'm honoured and lucky to call you guys my friends. ♥ ♥ And will always look forward to getting to know you guys better, regardless of how much we talk right now.
Also, a huge thank you
to anyone who's dropped a word for me over the last few days of epic crap-time, and hearts out to everyone who's been going through hard times or Workfail or tiredness. As
the movie said, HANG TIGHT.
/public service announcement
CHECK YOUR EMAIL THERE IS GREAT HILARITY WITHIN)( Additionally, DETOX - a genfic commentfic thinger! :D Highly recommended for anyone who struggles with pr0n *guiltycough* )
Heya guys. This is K, reporting in from Supremely Burnt Out Tired Land. Work is really taking it out of me - the last month has just been this mad rush of getting things done for the office, or being zoned out in
the office. UNHAPPY FACE. Friends have also been kinda \o /o as we flail towards university; everyone's jittery, and we try to go out and support each other as much as possible, but that's taken most of my days off and turned them into huge social exercises that, while really cool!, have left me feeling sort of like a Swiss roll that's been run over by an 18-wheeler. So I'm really sorry if I haven't been keeping up with fic - especially the original stuff that people are posting! - or entries down here on DW; even keeping my brain in order on LJ has been bleaaaaaaargh. I hope everyone's been doing good! ♥
In other, more important news:
If you are reading this right now, you have more luxury than someone in Iran could ever hope for right now. If you are watching TV or a video on youtube, updating your status on Facebook, Tweeting, or even texting your friend, you are lucky. If you are safe in your home, and were able to sleep last night without the sounds of screaming from the rooftops, you need to know and understand what is happening to people just like you in Iran right now.
They are not the enemy. They are a people whose election has been stolen. For the first time in a long time, a voice for change struck the youth of Iran, just as it did for many people in the United States only seven months ago. Hossein Mousavi gained the support of millions of people in Iran as a Presidential candidate. He stands for progressiveness. He supports good relations with the West, and the rest of the world. He is supported with fervor as he challenges the oppressive regime of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
On Friday, millions of people waited for hours in line to vote in Iran's Presidential election. Later that night, as votes came in, Mousavi was alerted that he was winning by a two-thirds margin. Then there was a change. Suddenly, it was Ahmadinejad who had 68% of the vote - in areas which have been firmly against his political party, he overwhelmingly won. Within three hours, millions of votes were supposedly counted - the victor was Ahmadinejad. Immediately fraud was suspected - there was no way he could have won by this great a margin with such oppposition. Since then, reports have been coming in of burned ballots, or in some cases numbers being given without any being counted at all. None of this is confirmed, but what happened next seems to do the trick.
The people of Iran took the streets and rooftops. They shout "Death to the dictator" and "Allah o akbar." They join together to protest. Peacefully. The police attack some, but they stay strong. Riots happen, and the shouting continues all night. Text messaging was disabled, as was satellite, and websites which can spread information such as Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and the BBC are blocked in the country. At five in the morning, Arabic speaking soldiers (the people of Iran speak Farsi) stormed a university in the capital city of Tehran. While sleeping in their dormitories, five students were killed. Others were wounded. These soldiers are thought to have been brought in by Ahmadinejad from Lebanon. Today, 192 of the university's faculty have resigned in protest.
Mousavi requested that the government allow a peaceful rally to occur this morning - the request was denied. Many thought that it would not happen. Nevertheless, first a few thousand people showed up in the streets of Tehran. At this point, it is estimated that 1 to 2 million people were there. Mousavi spoke on the top of a car. The police stood by. For a few hours, everything was peaceful. Right now, the same cannot be said. Reports of injuries, shootings, and killings are flooding the internet. Twitter has been an invaluable source - those in Iran who still know how to access it are updating regularly with picture evidence. People are being brutally beaten. Tonight will be another night without rest for so many in Iran no older than I am. Tonight there is a Green Revolution.
For more information:
- near constant updatesHere
- ONTD_political live post
دنیارابگوییدچطورآنهاانتخاباتمان دزدیده اند
Tell the world how they have stolen our election
wrote about Tseng being a filer, and now I want to write huge amounts of Tseng looking dispassionately or not-so-dispassionately at his own
files; UNIVERSE PLEASE INDULGE ME.
Only I would be able to live under the illusion that today is the 8th
of June and not the 7th, thereby missing the remixredux9
signup deadline completely. Oh, brains, you do me such good turns. 8D Snap for busy days!
to-do before work
after work at work
[x] Pick up mathematics/aesthetics and give them a read through
 Japanese notes/homework
[x] Get cheques done
[x] Email collaborator
 pick up LuciferI AM AFRAID OF MY WORK EMAIL.
 It took way
too much time for me to open that combination safe. Way too much time.
 I have work, and what do I do instead? I fix my CSS so that karanguni
is more readable, I write posts about the Iliad in allcaps
, and general Fail At Life(TM).
 THINGS FOR WORK
 email person #1
 email person #2
 draft document to leave in the mailbox of ViceBosstomorrow
 call up person #3
I never thought I'd put the words "Spock" and "internal monologue" together in the same phrase, but HERE WE GO ANYWAY. 8DNew, And Stumbling ForwardFandom
: Star Trek XIRating:
Spock; Pike, Scotty, Chekov, Uhura, KirkSummary:
After Vulcan, Spock recovers his footing. Genfic.2508 words and lots of Spock?( It is a portrait of the galaxy reacting, the children of his home planet's system flung free. )
's prompt: Star Trek Reboot, The Crew, what tradition does Star Fleet have for crew members crossing the warp speed barrier for the first time? How does this get celebrated on the Enterprise?To The Enterprise: of Warp Barriers, Captains, and Other Scary ThingsFandom:
Star Trek 2009Rating:
Chekov, Scotty, Kirk, SpockSummary:
Mr. Spock's eyes flick towards the blatantly huge and complicated (and exciting) and blatantly huge
mathematical and engineering schematics on the console screen. Chekov can practically see the cogs in Mr. Spock's mind whirr - he is very, very fast at telemetry, which means there is probably no getting around the fact that what they have here is a plan to break the current warp speed record into many small pieces. Pavel wonders if that is the only thing that will be broken. 2734 words and lots of fail!invented!maths. 8D( Mr. Spock clears his throat. 'Mr. Sulu, Mr. Chekov,' he intones, and Chekov feels his spine try to straighten itself in a fit of biological self-preservation. 'How long more before we clear the Farmonion Corridor and re-enter established Federation space?' )
Randomly surfing through local street names and places for both work and pleasure, and I hit up a few walking tours. One of them talks about red lanterns, which is a hoity kind of euphemism for the old, long-gone prostitution areas near Chinatown, but I clicked on it anyway and it listed the sites -
The Street of the Dead, it listed. It made me stop for a little while because no one calls it that - or, at least, I don't remember ever having been introduced to the street in English. I hear it in Cantonese in my head, sae yan gaei, which is far more damning - Dead Man's Street. They left sick people in those shophouses there to die, way back when.*
I don't remember why I remember these things. My country sneak attacks me! Does anyone else's country sneak attack them? ♥
 *AND BECAUSE I AM WHO I AM this story actually comes with a crucial bit of hilarity. The word "street" and "chicken" in Cantonese are so tonally similar to my ears that I can't differentiate the two most of the time. There's meant to be more of a vowel-sound inflection on one of them - "gAI" as opposed to "gaEi" - but I can never get them right, and my parents think it is hilarious. I mean, Dead Man Chicken. DRAMATIQUE!!
The Business of FearFandom:
Final Fantasy VII (OGC)/Highlander (/Baccano!)Characters:
Rufus, Methos; cameos by Tseng and LuckRating:
Rufus needs men who are know something of the business of fear.Notes: Runs in the same line as New Men (Baccano!/Final Fantasy VII), but you don't need to read it to read this! Written for the no_true_pair prompt: Rufus is bound and blinded -- does Methos try to help, or take advantage of the situation?
4952 words and Rufus doing some recruiting!( Hide and seek is something Methos has come to be good at over the years, but he has absolutely no illusions about playing against the Shinra Company. )
- Tags:au, crossover hell, fic, fic: baccano!!!!!!, fic: final fantasy vii, fic: highlander, fic: luck, fic: methos, fic: rufus, fic: tseng, no true pair
Sudden urge to go back to my old school, attach myself to my teachers, and never let go. These people have changed my life in ways they - and I - can't even imagine. What I am is 50% part of what they made me. The rest is just what I did with that 50% in the time that's come after. How do I ever say good-bye to these people, now that some of the really important ones are leaving? It doesn't make sense. It doesn't compute. They've change the course of my life; it seems illogical to just float on.
Tell me your stories, guys? Who has changed your lives? Did you keep in touch afterwards, if you parted ways? Or did you keep quiet, your silence your sort of tribute? What did you say? Anon comments, as always, are on. ♥
Concrit on the writing meme, watching Trek for the second time, three day "weekend" that involves a lot of public speaking, darkrooms, Photoshop and code: my favourite brew.
>:D Writing is so happening tonight, even though (especially because) I have to be up at 7 tomorrow morning.
Live long and prosper
 Also, hilariously enough, I don't know how I get the dancer to change directions
, but once I do I can't change her back, and now I am FIXATED.
 To get her to swing counter I get her to swing out her leg; to get her to swing clockwise I get her to squeeze down on her crotch. OR IS THAT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. HELP.
 AUGH and I can only do it with my laptop tilted 90 degrees clockwise!
 Am now getting her to do some sort of retarded on-the-stop forward facing can-can competition with herself, though I usually default to clockwise. Must... stop... looking... It's all in the back of the calves!
 LAST EDIT I SWEAR. It is sad, but thinking of porn makes her swing clockwise, and thinking of square roots swings her anti. I'm sure that if I was told that clockwise = left brain instead of clockwise = right brain, the opposite would be true. DONE NOW. Tomorrow, Evil Spock/Tseng in action flick style fic... somehow with plot!
This fic officially took my brain, injected a thousand CCs of politics into it, beat it up and left me staggering about wildly. I haven't written something like this, I think, since Empery
The last (and crowning) jewel of the Honourable Men
triple bill (they're all standalones, though, so no need to read through).
I humbly request that you give this one a try. ♥ Okay going to go expire from exhaustion now.Year OneFandom:
Final Fantasy VII (BC through CC)Characters:
Lazard-Tseng-Rufus, Veld, Reeve, does the City of Midgar count? Rating:
Spans through Crisis Core and Before Crisis backstory. You don't need to know BC, but it helps, and there's a tiny appendix at the bottom of the fic to help you if you'd like.Summary:
From the journals of Urban Development, filling in the lives and empty spaces in Midgar.7575 words and Midgar being alive.( One gets the impression that we shall soon be bringing them brighter futures as well. )
Heading down to a "political" "protest" in hope of raising awareness of gay
rights existence later today. Um, if anyone knows my country, let's just say that even though there are going to be like a few thousand of us (OR MAYBE ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THERE'S GOING TO BE A FEW THOUSAND OF US), I'm going to be wearing comfortable shoes and positioning myself in a way that makes running like mad an acceptable mode of retreat should we come to be crushed by --
Okay, okay, maybe not. Context time! Pink Dot is a Singaporean effort to just get together all the LGBT and LGBT-supportive people in this country, put them in a square, and take a photo. No politics, no protest, no action, just reaction: we love each other, and we just want to be acknowledge as human.
Though, um, part of our constitution alleges that groups of MORE THAN ONE that gather for any (pseudo)political purpose must first register their purpose with the government before gathering, otherwise that gathering OF ONE OR MORE PEOPLE is considered illegal, so PUT ON YOUR BOOTS, BABIES.
So, in celebration, memetime!
Ask me anything. 8D About where I'm from, about what I like IRL or in fandom; ask me about what I write, or just any silly thing that crosses your mind. \o\ The unknown and fear of it is what drives so much of the pain that happens in our everyday lives: so go on. Ask a question. 8D
♥ to voksen
for being my enabler and beta! First Gundam Wing fic! I'm only, y'know, about a decade late to this fandom, that's all! :D :D :D Second in the Honourable Men
triple bill.The Old LieFandom:
Treize, Zechs (13, 6)Rating:
All men graduate from one history to another.1984 (ha!) words and past-fic everywhere!( 'And to your unreasonable expectations, Lord Khushrenada,' Zechs replies with a private smile, as they drink to oxymorons great and small. )
Fifteen books you've read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes.
1. Ursula K Le Guin - The Left Hand of Darkness
2. JRR Tolkien - The Lord of the Rings
3. Nancy Farmer - A Girl Named Disaster
4. Richard Bach - Jonathan Livingston Seagull
5. Ursula K Le Guin - The Wind's Twelve Quarters
6. Madeleine L'Engel - A Wrinkle in Time
7. Neil Gaiman - American Gods
8. Will Shake - Julius Caesar
9. Daniel Keyes - Flowers for Algernon
10. JRR Tolkien - The Hobbit
11. Roald Dahl - Going Solo
12. Terry Pratchett - Thief of Time
13. Terry Pratchett - Small Gods
14. Madeline L'Engel - Many Waters
15. Ursula K Le Guin - A Wave in the Mind
Drabbletimes for these fifteen! Leave any character(s) and a prompt; they can cross on over if they like! \o\
AND TO ANY OF MY FRIENDS WHO ARE UNDER THE WEATHER, OR WHO ARE HELPING ME THROUGH MY TIME OF WEIRD HORMONES, OR WHO WILL EVER BE UNDER THE WEATHER: ♥ You are all and each of you beautiful people, articulate in your own ways, and a gift to this small green planet of ours. ♥
Fandom check: Final Fantasy XII
?! Yeah, I don't know either. \o\ Apparently screaming at your laptop for 30 hours makes you go a bit funny in the head.
First in the second triple bill
: and they are all, all honourable men
.Make as much of me as gentryFandom:
Final Fantasy XII (OGC)Characters:
Ffamran, Dr. CidRating:
Backstory here we come, Ffamran-who?Summary:
The good doctor once spoke to his good son.1013 words and lots of Cid posturing! \o( 'You know, when your mother died, I had a thought,' said the good Doctor. )
With the irrational fuel of a human being forced to be pulled, like the tides, by the moon, I shall do this today:
 Code sister_coyote
's layout for LJ/IJ/DW
 Write a triple bill across VII/Batman Beyond/Gundam Wing, jotting down ideas and random thoughts and Anger At The World on the etherpad
, if you want to watch me work and point fingers/laugh.
 Code up fic and archive it on And More Slow
[x] Read Estraven and quietly rock back and forth in my chair; the local news and the consciousness of the world makes me want to stand up and write and I am so afraid, somedays, of what-will-be-will-be. "Screw this, when I grow up I want to be like Rusty Ryan."
Also, fic writers/readers, what is your favourite font to read in, and what size?
I have recently been overcome with the strangest and most irrational love for Segoe UI, which is, yeah. Thanks, Microsoft.
- Tags:busy is as busy does, coding eats my brains, cuts like a knife, fear and loathing, hands like octopi, homophobia does not taste like chicken, human nature, hurt, i r sane yes, i want to ride a bicycle, lists are fun, run for your lives, sad life is sad, w